Merry Christmastide!

Merry Christmas internets! Your present this year comes in the form of an obscure wrestling joke. It may be difficult to unwrap.

Movember

Check out this guy. His moustache has grown into his beard! He's freaking out!

Luncheon Meats

I'm sorry but you might not be seeing that much more of devon. It was a hot day! I hadn't eaten for ages, I was feeling light-headed, devon was just resting there seductively in the crisper dish and you know, one thing led to another...

Devonaire

So my dad brought home a log of devon from work today. My dad is a maths teacher. I'm not up on the stats for fathers bringing home devon logs to their families, but I can only assume dad's acquisition is a rare treat. Anyway the devon and I hit it off straight away, so in honour of our new friendship I have compiled a short list of fun activities for you to do with your devon.

-Take devon to the movies. Share your popcorn with devon and playfully throw peices at each other.
-Play tennis with devon. Laugh at devon's lack of arms.
-Get icecream and sit on the wharf during sunset. Share stories with devon and laugh at how funny the world is.
-Go to the butcher's and laugh at meats less fortunate than you.
-Surprise devon with a thoughtful gift.
-Play a boardgame with devon. Wait until devon has almost won and then knock over the board. Fall about laughing and stare at length into each others eyes.

Pine-tingling

I love puns. Almost as much as I love subtly drawing attention to puns I've made. Anyway the point is pine orange juice is almost the most disgusting thing since cultural genocide. 'Um, would you like to be any grosser?' is the most common response inspired in those who have unwittingly purchased a bottle. That's right, it's so gross it temporarily reduces your ability to assess the animacy of fruit juices. For the record, generally they can't talk back. So don't keep trying! You've got to keep your wits about you otherwise you could find yourself embarrassingly engaging a beverage in polite discussion about seasonal effects on the fruit production industry when your mum walks in. That isn't something you want to have to explain!
Anyway here's a picture of pine orange juice scaring some kids.

Oktober

Ah Oktoberfest. A festive time of innapropriately sized german cuisine and laxening of workplace sexual harrassment policies. In honour of their embarrassingly phallocentric diet and antiquated gender roles I've drawn a mildly euphemistic, strong-jawed German man. Auf Wiedersehen!

Post #2

So I know this is only the second post but I feel like we've had some really good times together already. Remember that pigeon! Eating a chip! Classic.

As you can imagine I've been quite eager to follow up my initial post with some equally retarded whimsical bollocks (a hallmark of all popular picture blogs) but I have been waylaid by the unlikeliest of foes - the computer cable! You wry bastard! Breaking on me like that! But as I stare into it's perpetually sadfaced socket I find it difficult to stay mad at my electrical friend, despite its consistent efforts to disadvantage me. Why, I would even go as far as to say that it is the real victim here. It works its (anatomically confusing) rear end off day after day to protect the integrity of data and what does it get? Nothing! And anyway, it's given the perfect excuse for a highly anthropomorphic jaunt in ms paint, so it's earned itself a place in my heart. RIP power cable 1.

Hey Blog

Hey Blog! I know we've only just met but I just KNOW that we're going to get on great. I can't wait to start divulging all of my personal thoughts to you and patronising the reader by constantly addressing an abstract concept. Woo!

Anyway I got really overexcited and drew a picture of a pigeon eating a chip! Enjoy.